The Sound of Settling
by thegingergallifreyan
Summary: Rose and Tentoo settle into a new life that they thought they could never have. Love, romance, missions with Torchwood, and the scariest adventure they are ever going to face. T for later chapters. In-progress.
1. sleep don't visit

She barely registered hearing her bedroom door open and shut with a gentle click behind whoever had entered. She had a good guess as to who. As if on cue she heard him walk over to the edge of her bed and whisper her name.

"Rose," she opened her weary eyes and glanced up at him after taking a quick look at the clock on her nightstand. He looked down at her like a lost puppy.

"Mmm?" she mumbled into the pillow.

"I can't sleep," he whispered back, eyes sad as he stood rather nervous looking waiting for her sleepy reply.

"What's wrong?" she asked him, rubbing a hand over her eyes.

"It's too quiet," She knew exactly what he meant. When she had first come to Pete's World she had had trouble sleeping because of the quietness. The TARDIS always had a soft hum and she never knew how much she loved that sound soothing her to sleep until it was gone. Eventually, she had gotten used to it but it had been a rough road. She didn't want him to have to go through that on top of being stranded on Earth without his beloved ship. To his surprise, she shifted over and pulled back the duvet invitingly.

"Come on," she mumbled to him. He stood looking completely lost and uncertain.

"Rose?" he said looking reluctantly. She glanced up at him a little more awake now.

"You need a constant sound, I get that. Like a clock ticking or gentle rain," she explained, having thought it out. "Or someone else's breathing," she added, gauging his reaction. He only hesitated for a second. He looked so utterly tired that he could drop at any second. He wanted to sleep but he couldn't, his mind too focused on that lack of sound.

He climbed in, pulling the duvet over himself. He left a respectable distance between them but their faces close, practically sharing a pillow. He concentrated on her breathing, completely in shock that he was there with her let alone in her bed. He heard her breathing slow as she began to drift back off and quickly he felt himself, to his great relief, doing the same.

* * *

He slowly came back into consciousness the next day, temporarily forgetting that he had fallen asleep in Rose's bed. He looked down at her, so close, and realized that he must have sought her out in his sleep. She was pressed up against him, her back to his chest, his arm draped across her waist protectively. He just looked at her, his pink and yellow human, and couldn't help but notice how well they fit together. He heard her breathing pick up as she drifted awake.

"Good morning," he mumbled into her hair after long moments of just breathing.

"Morning," she muttered back with a yawn. They stayed like that for a long minute before she rolled over in his arms to face him. She placed her hands on his chest and felt his single heartbeat beneath her palms. "You're really here," she said barely a whisper.

"I'm really here," he replied just as softly.

"You're still you,"

"I'm still me," She looked into his eyes, those oh so familiar eyes and could see it was him deep down. A bit different, but still so utterly him and a wave of relief washed over her. She brought her face to his and, to his surprise, and placed a feather light kiss to his lips.

"I missed you so much," she pulled out of the kiss, just enough to whisper those words to him. He didn't reply, he just pulled her back to him and captured her lips again in a passionate kiss. To the Doctor's great annoyance, his stomach decided to growl at that moment. He felt Rose smile and start to giggle, forcing her to pull away.

"Cursed human body," he grumbled as he pulled her giggling form back to him and placed his forehead to hers. Her stomach growled in response and she giggled again.

"Well, it seems were faced with a very difficult decision," she said. His brow furrowed.

"What's that?" he asked confused.

"Do we get up or starve?" she gave him a tongue between her teeth grin and he felt his now single heart flutter in response.

"Oh, that is a very difficult decision," he mused as he feigned thinking it over. He brought her face closer, his lips hovering over hers. "I think we should just starve," he whispered as he pulled her lips back to his. His efforts were thwarted again by his stomach.

"I think this human body of mine is plotting against me," he grumbled again, trying to ignore his body's need of sustenance. She smiled up at him before she threw the duvet back and walked off to the loo. When she came back he had the duvet pulled up over his head and she could help but laugh at how childish it seemed.

"Come on, Doctor, time to get up," she said trying to pull it from his head. He held on tight and refused, his comment muffled.

"You need to eat," she urged.

"No, I don't. Superior biology, me," he said at the same moment his stomach gave another loud growl.

"Oh, yeah, really superior," she replied sarcastically, yanking the blanket back from him.

"But Roooose," he whinged playfully, pulling the covers back up.

"Alright," she said, feigning defeat. "I guess I'll have to eat all those pancakes by myself," she huffed, getting up from the bed. Just as she hoped, he threw the covers back and leapt out of the bed, grabbing her hand and taking off for the stairs.


	2. we will carry on

**Hello, humans! So, here is how it's going to work: My co-author and I plan to get a new chapter up at least once a week. Please bear with us if we don't, we work and are in college and all that fun stuff. So, without further ado, enjoy chapter two and please review!**

* * *

"Slow down," she said to him as he dragged her down the hall of the Tyler mansion and to the stairs. Saving the multiverse, traversing the galaxy and being abandoned in Norway took a lot out of a person and so they crashed in the nearest rooms. Well, room.

She felt her chest tighten at the thought of Norway, the memory so sharp in her mind. Just two days ago she had been standing on that god forsaken beach, two Doctors faced with the same question. Only one gave her the answer that needed saying. She had been doubtful, uncertain, afraid that this new Doctor wasn't _her _Doctor. Every time she sees him do something so him she also sees him do something that isn't very him at all.

Jackie had gone off to call Pete to get them a ride back to London and the so called Doctor had begun to ramble nervously. She had just stared at him, her emotions in every direction, as he went on about who knows what.

"Rose?" he had said, breaking out of his nervous stupor.

"What?" she replied, meeting his gaze.

"You're staring," he stated.

"Right, sorry," she apologized, looking away. She didn't know what to think of him, didn't know if he was really who he said he was or if he was just a consolation prize. On top of her new found confusion, she had been hurt and angry at the time-lord Doctor for leaving her behind again on the same beach. Their eyes met as they heard Jackie raise her voice as she yelled into her phone.

"Just like me to leave me in the middle of Norway with _your_ mother," he grumbled. "There are loads of other places just as terrifying," Rose gave him a warning look. "What? You're mother is scary. I thought she was going to slap me into my next regeneration." she held back a smirk.

"Was that a smile?" he asked hopefully.

"No." she denied.

"That was a smile."

"No, it wasn't." she replied determinedly.

"You smiled."

"No, I didn't." she had said, trying to compose her face, but failed. He smiled back at her just as Jackie had walked over huffing over having to stay in a hotel for a night before they could get a zeppelin back to London.

He burst into the kitchen, Rose following in his wake, watching him. Over the last two days she had come to watch him, make connections to what was the same, what was different. So far it seemed there was more that was the same and she couldn't help but feel relieved at that. She needed him, and according to the time-lord Doctor, the new Doctor needed her too.

Right away he starts opening all the cabinets looking for pancake ingredients, being less than elegant and sending things tumbling to the floor. Rose rolls her eyes as he picks up the discarded food and finally finds what he was looking for.

"Don't make a mess," she said as he started throwing stuff into a bowl he had just grabbed.

"Me? Make a mess? Never." he replied with a smirk.

"My mum loves this kitchen and she'll find a new way to torture you if you ruin it," she warned, knowing very well that was enough to keep him at bay. She watched him warily as he began throwing in his own ingredients, completely ignoring the measurements the box had provided.

"You're staring at me again," he said, looking up from the mixing bowl. She didn't break away this time and continued staring at him. She couldn't figure this Doctor out. He was so him, so incredibly him that her heart ached. She tried to wrap her head around the meta crisis, he had explained it to her at the hotel in Norway, but she just wasn't so certain about it. Him getting himself into trouble and making a mess and being quirky was so incredible him. Just as she thought she should just let it go and see how things work out on their own, she remembered the other him, the time-lord him, out traveling alone again. She just wasn't used to it yet, and certainly wasn't used to him crawling into bed with her in the middle of the night, though she felt she could.

"I know this isn't easy," he said shyly, sensing what she was thinking about. "And it may take some time to get used to, but it's really me, Rose, it really is." She wore the same face she had on the beach when she put her hand to his chest and felt his single heart. She wasn't sure if it right for her to be sad that he was gone while he was standing in front of her.

"I know," she sighed after a long moment. "I'm just really confused right now, yeah?"

"Yeah." he replied sheepishly. She didn't know if he was really the Doctor or not, but if she knew one thing, it was that she was willing to find out. She thought of how it felt waking up with him in her bed, curled up next to her and how natural it had felt. She decided it was definitely worth it.

They turned back to finish making the pancakes she promised him. He was successful in spilling the powder all over the counter and floor and even accidentally wiping batter on his face.

They were half way through devouring their pancakes when Jackie walked in with Tony. She stopped at the sight of her kitchen then immediately threw a glare at him.

"It's no mystery who made this mess," she said angrily. "And you better clean it up,"

"We will, mum," Rose said, mouth full. Tony was hiding behind Jackie's leg, giving the Doctor shy but curious glances.

"Mummy, is that him?" he whispered to her, still hiding.

"Yes, sweetheart, that's him," she replied, pulling him out from behind her and urging him forward to say hello. The boy moved closer slowly, giving his mother a question glance, but she urged him on.

"Hello, I'm Tony," he said quietly. The Doctor swallowed his mouthful and smiled at him.

"Hello, Tony, I'm the Doctor," Tony smiled widely.

"Really?" he asked hopefully.

"Yup, really really," Tony beamed at him, and then, to the Doctor's surprise, threw his arms around him. The Doctor looked up at Rose questioningly.

"I tell him about our adventures as bedtime stories," she explained. "He just loves them, thinks of you as a superhero," The Doctor couldn't help but smile at that.

"So what do you two have planned for today?" Jackie interrupted.

"Well, first, we're going clothes shopping," Rose replied quickly.

"Rose-" the Doctor began to complain, but she cut him off.

"Don't even start," she said. "You need clothes. You can't go around wearing the same thing every day anymore. People will start to notice," She turned back to Jackie. "We'll probably go back to my flat, I haven't been there in a while, maybe make an appearance at Torchwood to report on the mission too," she finished.

"Bloody Torchwood," Jackie grumbled. "Can't you just take a break? Catch your breath? You've spent every last waking moment there for months," she huffed.

"I have to fill out the paperwork on the mission, mum, you know that," She got up and put their plates in the sink and started wiping the counter off. Jackie left to put Tony down for his nap and the Doctor got up to help her.

"Do we really have to go clothes shopping?" he asked quietly

"Yes, Doctor, we do," she replied.

_Clothes shopping with Rose Tyler. _He thought. _It can't be all that bad._


	3. holding us back

They walked down the hallway, the bundles of bags crinkling with every step, as they made their way towards Rose's flat. She stopped in front of a door and turned to face him. He looked down at her, a confused expression crossing his features.

"What is it?" he asked her.

"I never really spent much time here," she explained sheepishly. "I just sort of had it for somewhere to crash between missions at Torchwood." She turned her gaze away and went back to the door. "Just brace yourself," She turned and put the key in the door and shoved it open with her shoulder. The Doctor followed in behind her, kicking the door closed behind them.

They walked from the entranceway into the living room. The Doctor quickly took note that it didn't look very lively at all. The walls were beige with nothing on them, there was a couch, and end table, and a TV in the corner but that was all.

"There's a guest room down the hall, first door on your right," she said quietly. "You can put all your stuff in there,"

"Right," he replied.

"I'll make us some tea," She suggested. He watched her disappear into the kitchen to the left before making his way through the vacant looking living room and to the hallway. When he got to the room he stood in the doorway for a long moment before walking to the bed in the corner and throwing all his bags on it. He frowned, plopping down onto the bed and sighed. He wondered when the twinge of awkwardness with Rose would go away. Sometimes she looked at him and he swore she had accepted him for who he said he was and others she looked hurt by his mere presence.

He ran his hands over his face and into his hair, heaved another sigh, and pulled himself off the bed. He headed back out into the hall, through the living and into the kitchen. Rose was just pouring the tea into mugs when he walked in.

"Hello," he said weakly.

"Hello," she replied, handing him a mug and going to sit at the counter.

"No carpets I see," he commented. "I don't much like carpets,"

"I know. The flat is owned by Torchwood," she explained quietly. "Didn't come with carpets anyway," He took a gulp of tea to look distracted in the uncomfortable silence between them.

"We can go to Torchwood tomorrow morning," she chimed after a long moment. "It's late now and I'm tired," He nodded.

"Right," he mumbled into his tea, which he suddenly found very interesting. They finished off the rest of their tea and sat in awkward silence before Rose took their mugs to the sink.

"Well, I'm off before I fall asleep right here," she yawned. "If you need anything you know where to find me," she said before she turned, yawning again, and left the room. He watched the spot where she disappeared for a long minute before he got up, turned the kitchen light off, and made his way to his room.

He closed the door behind him and plopped down onto the bed, shoving all the bags to the floor in the process. He stared up at the ceiling and sighed again. He missed her. He missed her hand in his, her genuine smile with her tongue between her teeth. She was right there, in the other room, yet she was distant. It was clear to him that she was uncertain if he was really the same but he wished she would hurry up and decide. He didn't know how much longer he could handle walking on eggshells.

He sat up and rummaged through the bags on the floor as he looked for the pyjamas he had bought. He put them on and pulled the duvet back on the bed and crawled in.

_Stupid human body, requiring sleep. _He thought to himself.He huffed and stared up at the ceiling. He wasn't too excited about going to Torchwood, never liked them, but it was Rose and he trusted her. It was so much to get used to.

He put a hand to his chest and felt his single heart beating. There was no way one heart could do all that work, pumping his blood, keeping him alive. He had to sleep now, his body getting tired a lot quicker. He didn't like it one bit. Of course, he didn't much mind it when Rose was there beside him sleeping too. He didn't know what he would do if she rejected him. He'd have to get his own flat, find a job, and live his life without her. No, no, no, he didn't think he would last a human lifespan without her.

He couldn't bear the thought of not having her with him. Knowing she was in the same universe with him but still out of his reach. His heart started to race as he started thinking that as a likely possibility. He would be trapped on Earth, part human, and without Rose. He didn't think he could live alone with his thoughts. As he was told before, he needed someone to stop him, someone to care for him, someone to hold his hand through the rough patches.

His heart was pounding painfully in his chest, his breathing quickening as he gasped for air. He gripped at the sheets tightly, his knuckles turning white, as he chocked for more air he couldn't seem to get. His gasps only seemed to get louder and shorter and he started feeling lightheaded.

_I'm dying. _He thought in a panic. _Three days in and this stupid human body is gonna die on me. _

His chest was heaving and his grip on the sheets grew even tighter. Suddenly, there were two hands on his shoulders holding him down.

"Doctor, you need to stop,"

"Rose?" he gasped.

"You need to calm down or you'll pass out,"

"I _am _dying!" he wailed.

"You're not dying," she said calmly. "You're having a panic attack and you need to stop gasping for air or you're going to pass out." She explained, putting a hand to his clammy cheek. "Come on, try to take deep breaths,"

"I-I can't!" he gasped, heaving yet again.

"Yes, you can," she urged gentle. "Just take deep breaths," He took a few deep, shaky breaths and slowly his breathing started to calm down. They were silent for a few minutes while he go control and slowly released his death grip on the sheets.

"There you go," moving her hand from his cheek to his chest. "Now, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing, I—" he began but Rose cut him off.

"Don't even tell me that you're fine, you're obviously not, so save it," she warned.

"I've only got one heart," he stated after a moment.

"I know,"

"How can one heart be doing all that work? How can it handle taking care of so much and keeping this body alive and—" she cut him off again.

"Stop. You'll throw yourself right into another attack if you keep this up." she said, trying to quiet him. "Humans have been doing just find for a long time now, yeah? It'll be okay." she comforted him. She could see the worry in his eyes and could tell that wasn't the only think bothering him. This Doctor was so vulnerable and the change in physiology was only part of the problem.

"What else?" she pushed. He hesitated for so long that Rose wasn't sure if he was going to even answer. Just when she was going to ask again, he spoke.

"What if none of this works out? What if I can't handle this human stuff? What if something goes wrong?" he asked quietly.

"You can't live your life like that, Doctor. There's no point in living in worry over stuff like that. You just have to let it work itself out. It'll be okay, in the end."

He didn't look convinced.

"Come on," she grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the bed and into her room without another word. She pulled the duvet back and crawled in and he followed without missing a beat. This time he took a chance and pulled her close, needing so much to feel her there with him. To his surprise, instead of pulling away she snuggled back into him. He sighed in content and concentrated on her breathing as she drifted off. He quickly felt himself nodding off after her.

Sometimes what one needed was exactly what the other needed too.


	4. something good can work

He heard her breathing start to quicken and he knew she was waking up. He pulled her closer in response, not wanting to let go just yet. She was facing him now, having rolled over in her sleep, and she snuggled in closer to his chest. He revelled in the moment, never thinking he would ever be in this position, let alone twice in a row.

"I could get used to this," he said after a few minutes, a grin spreading across his face. He could feel her smile against him in response.

"Me too," she mumbled sleepily, not opening her eyes. She sighed and started to drift off again. He looked down at her, so close, and his anxiety from the night before suddenly seemed silly. He may not be all Time Lord anymore but it was obvious from their position right then that Rose was realizing that it was still him. She wouldn't be curled up against him if she didn't. It would be a cruel punishment if she were.

"I don't want to move," she grumbled.

"Then let's not," he said softly, his voice still husky with sleep. She paused, thinking it over.

"We really need to go into Torchwood," she reasoned.

"No, we don't,'" he countered.

"Mmmk," she agreed quickly. He gave a light laugh and she opened her eyes to look up at him. His hair was more of a mess than it usually was and she couldn't help but smile at that.

"Well that was easy," he mused. She sighed.

"As much as I'd love to have a lie in, we really need to go,"

"Nope, I think right here is good," he said as she let him pull her closer to his chest. They were quiet for a few minutes, both thinking. The Doctor was a tad bit embarrassed that they had had a panic attack over something that now seemed ridiculous. She was there, accepting him, letting him pull her as close to him as he could. She looked up at him again, wiggling her way closer to his face, and placed a hand on his cheek.

"Doctor," She glanced down at his lips moving close to rest her forehead against his, and then gently pressed her lips to his. The kiss started slow, gentle, but deepened quickly. Her hands moved to his hair and she laced them though it, while his hands moved to embrace her. She broke apart only when the need to breath became too great. Breathing hard, her hands found his shoulders and back, and their lips met again.

The kiss was fervent with desire, it was a blend of teeth and tongues and passion. She rolled onto him, lost for a moment in her longing, and she could feel his hands on her waist. She broke away feeling light headed, both of them breathing heavy. Pushing herself up, separating far enough to look into his eyes, she sighed and smiled. His hair was a mess and she couldn't help being happy that it was her doing. His lips caught hers again in one last quick kiss before they pulled away.

"Are you sure we need to go to Torchwood because I'm okay with staying here all day instead," he grumbled. He rolled, pinning her under him, and she giggled.

"As much as I would love to—" He silenced her with his lips. Her hands instinctively went back to his hair, mussing it further. They broke apart after a moment but kept close.

"Alright, off," she said, moving her hands to his shoulders and pushing. He groaned but obliged. She got out of bed and headed towards the suite.

"We'll go pick up some breakfast on the way to Torchwood because there's nothing here," she began.

"Sounds good to me," he grumbled.

"I'm gonna take a shower and then we can go,"

"Need some help?" he asked, a wicked grin crossing his features.

"Down, boy," she said, raising an eyebrow at him before walking out of the room and leaving him to get dressed.

She quickly showered and dressed and walked back into the bedroom to see him sitting on the bed. He was wearing the suit again. She smiled and rolled her eyes at him before grabbing his hand and leaving the flat.

* * *

They hopped out of their black truck, through security, and up to the main office. Pete had taken over as Director of Torchwood once Rose had dove head first into her work on the dimension cannon. Their first order of business was to grab the proper paperwork to report on the mission. Their second was coming up with the Doctor's fake identity so he could exist in the parallel world without suspicion.

They made their way up to Pete's office, the Doctor refusing to let go of Rose's hand the entire way. They were almost to the office when someone called to her.

"Rose!" she spun around and saw Jake. "You're really back!" She let go of the Doctor's hand and pulled Jake into a tight hug.

"Yeah, back safe and sound," she said.

"Jakey-boy!" the Doctor exclaimed excitedly.

"Doctor, good to see you again," He shook his hand and turned back to Rose. "Did you just get back?"

"No, we got back a couple days ago. Just figured a few days off after jumping across dimensions was reasonable," she joked. "We're headed to see Pete to get things sorted now,"

"Well, I'll let you get to it then," he said, turning to walk away. "I'm glad you came back," he smiled and disappeared around the corner.

They had gotten past the paperwork and details of the mission in the other universe and were now focusing on the Doctor's identity to the rest of the world. He was not happy about it and was being difficult.

"What's wrong with 'the Doctor'?" he demanded.

"Nothing, but you can't go around calling yourself 'The Doctor' here. It's not exactly a common human name," Rose explained.

"It's worked fine for me for hundreds of years," he argued.

"No one has to call you by it. We just need a name to go on legal documents," Pete chimed in. The Doctor looked over at Rose worriedly.

"I'll still call you 'the Doctor'." she whispered to him. It seemed to ease his tension towards a new name and he gave in.

"What about John Smith?" he suggested half-heartedly.

"That sounds like an alias," Pete said.

"Well, it is an alias!" he snapped back, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"It sounds _too_ much like an alias," Pete offered, ignoring the sarcasm.

"What about James?" Rose suggested, trying to ease the tension. He really didn't care what his legal papers said and he quickly agreed, just trying to get it over with.

"Just the surname then," Pete said, writing down the chosen first name on the paper.

"You know what? Surprise me," He looked over at Rose with his best puppy dog pout. "Please, can we go now?" he whinged.

"Yeah, okay," Rose grabbed his hand and stood up. "Can't sit still for more than a minute, this one," she said with a laugh. "Thanks for this, Pete," she said before they left the office. They started back down towards the entrance, holding hands, the Doctor chatting away at her side.

"Can we go down to the archives?" he asked.

"What for?" she replied, already having an idea.

"So I can rummage through all the alien tech, of course," he said, giving her his best pleading smile.

"You know, I could get in trouble for letting you," she said.

"Yeah, well when did you ever turn down trouble?" he replied, nudging her shoulder. "Jeopardy friendly, that's you." She smiled up at him but before she had a chance to reply, Jake came running towards them again.

"Hey! You're still here!" he called.

"Yeah, what's up?" Rose asked curiously.

"Ready to get back in the field?"


	5. across the universe

**Hello, lovely followers and others! We are SO terribly sorry that this took so long to post. We were having trouble getting together at the same time to write so yeah. If it helps, this chapter is a bit longer than the rest. We promise to try to more punctual in our update in the future and thanks for not killing us.**

* * *

"Definitely," Rose agreed after barely a moment's hesitation and a glance up at the Doctor. She smiled and laced her finger through his and followed Jake back the way he came from.

"Meteor crashed into someone's yard close by. Looks ordinary on the outside but reports of mechanical like noises," Jake explained as they walked out and towards the large black Torchwood truck parked outside. Jake handed Rose a headset and a gun, which the Doctor grimaced at.

"It just stuns, and is only used if necessary." she whispered to him. Her reassurance seemed to ease his tension towards it.

"Finally, some excitement!" he exclaimed to her, practically bouncing in place. She looked up at him, putting a finger to his chest.

"You have to behave, got it?" she said, putting on her best serious face.

"I am always well behaved—" he began, but he stopped abruptly as he realized his lie. "I'll try," he corrected himself with a smile. His goofy grin was definitely something she had missed. Rose and the Doctor climbed into the back of the truck, Jake in the passenger seat and their other team member Cody at the wheel.

"Whose he?" Cody asked, glancing back before pulling out of the car park.

"Hello!" the Doctor said cheerily. "I'm the Doctor." Cody threw Jake a questioning and surprised glance.

"Yes, Rose's Doctor," Jake said quietly. Cody saw the Doctor smile widely in the rear view mirror. "He's tagging along,"

"And behaving," Rose added, giving him a warning glance as she saw him eyeing all the tech in the back of the truck.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, tearing his eyes away.

"It's not too far from HQ," Cody began. "Probably nothing, but you never know." They rode mostly in silence until they pulled into the driveway of the person who had called in the report. It was clear the woman who lived there was waiting for them to arrive. She came out the front door and met them just as they were getting out of the truck.

"It's in the backyard," she said nervously. "I didn't know what to do, its making weird noises and I have kids," she trailed off as they moved past her.

"What's your name?" Jake asked.

"Kate Wilson," she said, following them into the house.

"Kate, about how long ago did it land there?" Rose asked.

"About an hour now," she said, pointing them towards the back door. "I called right away,"

"Alright, we'll take it from here," Cody said, sliding the glass door open and stepping out into the yard. The meteor was about the size of a beach ball and had dug itself deep into her yard, which was now destroyed. They all slowly approached it, and Cody pulls out a scanner from his bag.

Rose glanced over and saw the Doctor reach into his jacket pocket for his sonic, but it wasn't there. He frowned, shoved his hands in his pockets, and stood back as the team began to analyze. She sympathized and hoped he would be able to build a new one. She could only imagine how lost he felt without it.

As they got closer to the meteor, Rose felt a tingling go up her spine and she shivered involuntarily. The Doctor gave her a questioning look but she just shook her head and went back to work. They all got close and listened for the mechanical noises that Kate had said she heard, but there was no sound.

"What kind of sounds was it making?" Jake asked Kate who was standing back and watching them as they worked.

"Sort of like mechanical, like it was opening or something," she said.

"Don't hear anything now," Rose said as Cody put his scanner to it.

"Nothing out of the ordinary on the reading," he said. "Could have just been hearing things," Rose pulled a different scanner from the bag and did another scan just to make sure.

"Nothing on this one either," she said. "Its just an ordinary meteor. Harmless." She glanced up at the Doctor who, despite his eagerness earlier, looked like he felt out of place. Normally, he would be observing and poking and prodding at such a find but he looked reserved, like he wasn't quite sure what to do. She definitely hoped he could make himself another sonic screwdriver.

"Whatever you were hearing must have just been in your head," Cody stated, putting the two scanners back in your bag. Kate looked a bit put out but didn't argue.

"If it's just an ordinary meteor, can I keep it?" she asked.

"What for?" Jake replied.

"Well," Kate began. "Its not every day that a meteor crash lands in your yard, now is it?" she finished. "It would be a cool souvenir."

"Suppose not," Rose said. "I don't see a problem in letting her keep it. It's just a regular meteor," she said, looking over at Jake and Cody.

"Yeah, by all means. There's nothing weird about so we don't really need to bring it with us," Cody decided. "We'll just be going then." They packed their stuff and moved out of the yard. Rose grabbed hold of the Doctor's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze as they made their way through Kate's house and back to their truck. They were on their way back to headquarters before they started talking about it.

"You sure it was a good idea to leave her with it?" Jake asked.

"There was absolutely no out of the ordinary readings on the scanner," Cody argued, weaving through traffic. "I don't see why not. After all, it really isn't every day that a meteor crash lands in your yard,"

"Besides, if something weird happens, she knows how to contact us," Rose added, still gripping the Doctor's hand. He had been unusually quiet and she was worried. She knew he wasn't one to out and talk about what he was feeling, even to her. So the best she figured she could do was hold his hand to reassure she was there is he wanted to talk about whatever was bothering him.

* * *

After an hour or so scavenging through the archives and sneaking a bag full of alien tech out of Torchwood, they arrived back at the flat, the Doctor as excited as a five year old on a sugar high. He immediately sat down on the living room floor and started emptying his bag.

"I'm going to make some tea, do you want any?" Rose asked, moving towards the kitchen. He grumbled a reply, already too consumed in his tinkering.

She came back a few minutes later with two cups and handed him one, which he took without looking up. They sat quietly for a minute, the Doctor examining everything he had "borrowed" from Torchwood.

"Do you think you'll be able to build a new one?" Rose asked quietly.

"A new what?" the Doctor asked, not looking away from the item in his hand.

"A new sonic screwdriver," she said, taking a sip from her cup.

"I don't know," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "But I'm certainly going to try," She sat down on the floor next to him and he looked over at her.

"You should get a job," she said abruptly. He gave her a questioning look.

"What for?" he asked.

"You can't very well sit around the flat all day. You need to get out and do something," she explained. His expression shifted from questioning to uncertain.

"You don't want me to be here?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

"What?" she asked, startled. "That's not what I meant," she said hastily.

"Then why do you want me to get a job?" he asked, letting out the break he had been holding.

"You need something to do," she explained. "You'll go mad if you sit around here all the time,"

"So you don't want me around less?" he asked with a shaky voice, afraid what she would say.

"Of course not, I love you, you idiot," his worried look turned into a wide grin and she looked at him in wonder. Hadn't they just been having a serious conversation?

"What?" she asked stupidly.

"You said you love me," he replied happily.

Of course I do," she said matter-of-factly. "I didn't throw myself across the universes to find you for no reason. Well, I mean the stars were going out, but that just happened to be at the same time," she joked.

"But I'm different now," he said softly. "You never said you loved half human me," Rose's face fell. Had she really not told him that? For her, it had needed saying and it was stupid of her not to think that it needed saying for him too.

"I do, you know," she said quietly, meeting his gaze. "I love you even all half-human," He smiled widely and then abruptly pulled her mouth to his. She made note that they definitely needed to say it more often.

When they pull back, both gasping, they looked into each others eyes. She realized that even though they had stuff to work out, they would be okay. They were always okay. He smiled at her with that goofy grin of his and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Are you sure it isn't an option to just lock ourselves in the flat and never come out?" he asked, his voice husky.

"We have to go out eventually. With you around, alien invasions are bound to happen more often," she joked with a smirk.

"I'm not the one whose jeopardy friendly," he challenged, capturing her lips again for a quick kiss.

"No, but you certainly are a danger magnet," she whispered when they pulled back. She looked him over for a moment, his hair sticking up and chocolate gaze fixed on her. "You know what?" she began, breathing heavily against his lips. "Going outside isn't all that great anyways."

"I knew you'd see it my way," he said before pulling her into a proper snog.


	6. sigh no more

The alien tech sat forgotten on the floor as they deepened the kiss, Rose's hands wrapping around the back of his neck. Pulling him close and tilting her head, their lips met again between gasps for air. They pulled back after a minute, his forehead resting against hers as they caught their breaths.

He abruptly stood, offering his hand to her. She looked up at him questioningly but took his hand anyway, letting him lead her to her bedroom. The door closed with a click behind him as he spun around and captured her lips again. They stumbled across the room, never breaking contact, and plopped down onto the bed together. She grinned up at him, tongue caught between her teeth, and ran her fingers through his hair. Mouth hovering over hers, he smiled back before he his lips met hers again. He rolled so he was lying on top of her as he ran his tongue along her bottom lip, demanding entrance. She obliged, his tongue meeting hers as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him as close as she could.

Hearts pounding in unison, he moved his hands from her waist to the buttons of her blouse, fumbling to undo them. He broke away from her mouth, moving to trail kisses down her throat as she lifted her chin to give him better access. He shifted his focus back to undoing the button, reaching the third one before her hands caught his. She felt him freeze on the spot, uncertainty crossing his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him before he could start rambling.

"Just slow down, yeah?" she whispered breathily. She looked up to his eyes, fear that he went too far clearly reflected in them. "I just need a bit of time," she began to explain. "We're old, but sort of new all at the same time and I don't want to rush into stuff." She felt him relax against her at the reassurance and gave her a suggestive grin.

"Yeah, me either," he replied. "Wait, no, that was a lie. I definitely want to rush into stuff. Particularly this kind of stuff." he said, raising an eyebrow at her suggestively.

"Were you always like this?" she asked with a laugh.

"Yes. No. Well, sort of," he rambled. "I was, but I had much more control over my body before. This human body is just rubbish when it comes to control and human hormones are ridiculous."

"Well okay then," she said smirking. "I'm not saying no, I'm just saying let's give it some time, yeah?"

"Yeah, alright," he agreed half-heartedly. "But I think you completely misunderstood what I said on the beach."

"Which time?" she asked softly, dropping her gaze.

"The second time," he replied just as quietly.

"Oh? What did you mean then?" she asked uncertainly, pulling her eyes back to his.

"When I said 'I love you' I meant 'you are absolutely gorgeous and I wouldn't mind shagging you for the rest of my life'." she laughed at his out of character remark and gave him a quick kiss of encouragement.

"Well, its obvious how I could have misinterpreted that," she replied sarcastically. He rolled off her onto his back and she rested her head on his chest, draping an arm across his waist. They laid there in silence for a few minutes, listening to the other's breathing slow to a steady pace.

"I love you," he murmured into her hair, his voice barely audible.

"I love you too," she replied, tightening her grip on his waist. "God, I've missed you," she mumbled into his chest. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer.

"What—" he began, swallowing the lump in his throat. "What happened after Bad Wolf Bay?" he asked, his voice a bit shaky and uncertain if it was okay to ask about it. She took a deep breath and sighed, but remained quiet. Just as he thought she wasn't going to answer him, she started to speak.

"I didn't really know what to do with myself at first," she began, voice trembling. "I felt trapped here on an earth that wasn't quite earth. I had mum and Tony and a new chance with Pete, but it wasn't quite home."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, pulling her flush against him as if that would help take away from the pain she had felt.

"S'okay, it wasn't your fault," She knew all too well that even if something wasn't his fault he would blame himself for it anyway. "I couldn't sleep," she went on softly. "It was too quiet and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't most of the time. I never realize how much of a comfort the TARDIS humming was until it was gone," She hated bringing up his ship after he so recently lost her, so she hastily moved on.

"I'll be honest, I was pretty worse for wear and it didn't get any better for a while," She hesitated, uncertain if it was too much for him to handle. He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and so she went on. "I stopped eating too, I—" she took a deep breath and pulled a lock of hair from her face. "It wasn't on purpose. It got to the point where mum had to sit me down and make me eat something. There was that logical part of me that kept saying I had to eat, but then I would try and just..." He rested his head against hers, closing his eyes as she trailed off.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to her.

"It's okay," She shifted her head on his chest and looked up at him. "It was rough for a while, but you know what?"

"What?" he asked, voice breaking.

"One day I remembered what you told me all those years ago when you tricked me off the Game Station. 'Have a fantastic life' you said. I knew you wouldn't have wanted me to spend my life like that and so I picked myself up and joined Torchwood." He smiled down at her before she went on. _Rose Tyler, defender of the earth_. "I didn't want to believe you when you said we wouldn't see each other again." she admitted, looking away. "But I didn't know what else to do so I took on a lot of missions." She felt him frown against her head but he remained silent, letting her continue.

"Didn't think I had much to lose and others on my team did. I mean Mum and Pete had each other and also had Tony to care for. Being plopped into this universe as the Vitex billionaire's long lost daughter didn't make me friends so much as it did curious paparazzi. So I took on dangerous missions to keep myself distracted." She let out a shaky breath, clearly troubled with having to recall the memories. "I never got a scratch on any of them though and it became a running joke to see how many I could go on without getting hurt." She sniffed and felt him stiffen at the confession.

"Rose—" he began, but she stopped him before he could get any further.

"They aren't bad people, please don't blame them, it was just a joke. Besides, I never did end up getting hurt because I pulled myself out of the field once I started to focus on building the cannon."

"It wouldn't have worked," he said flatly.

"I know. It didn't start to work until the stars started going out," She looked up at him again, seeing the sadness in his eyes. "And well, you sort of know the rest…" she said, letting her sentence trail off. They sat in silence for a long time after that, only their breathing to be heard. He didn't know how to feel about her story, not sure how to react. He never wanted her to feel such pain—she was so strong—but he also knew what it felt like to be alone on a planet that wasn't really home.

"Rose, I—" He swallowed thickly, the words caught in his throat. "Thank you for telling me," She sat up and looked at him. He was almost reluctant to meet her gaze.

"It's okay," he said soothingly. "It all worked out." She glanced away for a second before going on, not meeting his eye. "I know you're not one for domestics and I'm sorry you're trapped here." she choked out.

"Trapped with you, that's not so bad," he said with a comforting smirk.

"Yeah?" she asked, smiling at the memory of an impossible planet.

"Yes," he replied quickly, pulling her into a tight hug. She pulled back after a moment and looked him over. She could see bags under his eyes and she began to wonder how much he had really been sleeping. He wasn't used to needing so much and probably had been ignoring his body's request for it.

"I'm tired," she declared, yawning to prove her point. She went to her blouse and finished undoing the buttons and pulled off her trousers, leaving her in only a tank top and knickers. She pulled herself under the duvet and looked over at him. He was staring at her with a great intensity.

"What?" she asked him sleepily.

"That's exactly what I was trying to do earlier," he said with a wicked grin.

"Shut up," she laughed, hitting him playfully on the arm. "We're _sleeping_," she told him firmly.

"Oh, alright," he grumbled in defeat, getting up from the bed and stripping to his undershirt and pants. He climbed in under the covers and she rested her head against his shoulder. They settled in and she quickly began to drift off, completely content.

"You should walk around in your knickers all the time," he whispered after a few minutes. She giggled, smacked him on the chest, and rolled over.


	7. save tonight

Despite the Doctor's dislike of Torchwood, he was rather pleased when Pete suggested he took up a job in the archives identifying all the alien tech the field teams brought in. He knew from his first rummage through that most of the tech was mismarked and not identified correctly and he could hardly wait to go through it all again. Rose was just happy to see he had something productive to do with himself. She was certain that too much longer at the flat and he surely would have set something ablaze.

Rose's team had just come back from a mission with a piece of technology that landed in an open field outside of the city. Cody had been persistent that it was a weapon, but looking over, the Doctor was insistent it wasn't. They had been arguing back and forth about it for the last few minutes. Rose had rolled her eyes, practically able to smell the testosterone, and let them duke it out.

"It looks like a weapon," Cody insisted through clenched teeth, the argument becoming heated.

"You humans and your weapons," the Doctor argued back. "It's harmless. Trust me, I know," he insisted, looking down at the object in question.

"Look at it!" Cody yelled, his temper getting the better of him. "It's dangerous! It needs to be put in the vault with all the other alien weapons." He tried to grab it off the table but the Doctor swatted his hand away.

"It isn't a weapon," the Doctor said again.

"Yeah, what is it then?"

"Give me a few minutes to look it over and I'll tell you not only exactly what it is, but what planet and species it comes from," Rose rolled her eyes. If anything, the Doctor's ego had grown since the metacrisis.

"A bit full of yourself then," Cody shot at him once he realized the Doctor was not going to let him have the object back.

"Just give me a second," the Doctor said, getting agitated.

"Whatever." Cody said, stalking away. "When you realize that it is a weapon, be sure to put it in the vault." He called over his shoulder without looking back. The Doctor looked up at Rose who gave him a sympathetic glance.

"I don't think he likes me very much," he said after Cody was gone.

"Yeah, I didn't really expect him to," she said with a sigh, sitting on the edge of the desk he was working at.

"Why not?" he asked curiously.

"He sort of has a thing for me," she said nonchalantly. The Doctor's eyes grew wide, searching her face for more information.

"What?" he asked, startled at her apparent ease.

"It's nothing," she insisted. "He takes every chance he gets to flirt with me and he's asked me out a handful of times, but it never went anywhere,"

"Yeah?" he asked softly.

"Yes," she said firmly, taking note of his obvious uncertainty. "Do you really think if I wanted a life with Cody I would have worked so hard to get back to my original universe and find you?" He gave her a wide grin and she smiled back.

"Yeah, well now that I am here he better not try anything," he stated.

"Play nice," she said, poking him in the chest. "He's part of my field team and I don't need you diving in and making it awkward."

"If I have to," he decided, going back to examining the clearly harmless artifact.

"You know, you're cute when you're jealous," she said as she got up off the desk and headed for the door.

"Time lords don't get jealous," he insisted as she rolled her eyes and smiled. "They don't!" he claimed further. "Rose!" he called when she turned and walked towards the door with a giggle.

"Keep track of time, okay? We have to be at the mansion by eight to watch Tony," she reminded him, knowing he would get lost in his tinkering and wouldn't surface for days. He mumbled a response, already absorbed in his work. Smiling, she shook her head and left.

* * *

"Please, Rose!" Tony begged as he clambered into bed. He looked up at her with his best puppy dog pout that Rose couldn't resist even if she tried.

"Yeah, alright," she agreed. "Do you want an old one or a new one?" she asked, pulling the covers tight over him as he snuggled in.

"The one with the werewolf!" he said excitedly.

"That one again?" she asked with a laugh.

"That one's my favourite," he insisted, looking over to the Doctor who was hovering in the doorway. It was clear that Tony was still in awe that the Doctor really was real, let alone standing in his bedroom. Rose sat down on the edge of the bed and looked over to the Doctor, inviting to him to join in telling the story.

"Well, it all began when I was promised 1979," she started. "But thanks to the Doctor's poor driving skills, we ended up in 1879 instead."

"Oi!" the Doctor said, moving into the room, determined to correct her as Tony giggled.

"It was an accident! A TARDIS is meant to have six pilots! So a few errors are bound to happen with just me,"

"Well, either way, you were still a hundred years off," she retorted before going back to the story. "Anyways, even though the Doctor was off, we did have quite an entourage to greet us. None other than Queen Victoria herself was there,"

"But was it _really_ Queen Victoria?" Tony asked, brow furrowed, looking over to the Doctor for confirmation.

"Yeah, it_ really_ was," The Doctor told him.

"Did she have her crown on?"

"But of course! She is royalty after all," The Doctor said enthusiastically regardless of facts, happy to see how excited Tony was about the story.

"So with our handy dandy psychic paper, we joined the Queen's party of escorts and made our way to a very old estate with a very creepy look to it," The Doctor went on, remembering fondly his and Rose's encounter with the werewolf.

They went on, each taking a turn telling the story and just before they discovered the werewolf's dislike for mistletoe, Tony was asleep. Rose kissed the boy's forehead, grabbed the Doctor's hand and left the room, the door clicking quietly behind them.

"He's such an enthusiastic kid," the Doctor noted as they made their way down the hall and to the stairs.

"He really loves those stories," she told him. "He didn't know if they were real or not until I showed him a photo of the TARDIS on my old super phone," They walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch, the Doctor's head resting in her lap. She began running her fingers through his messy hair as he turned the telly on and flicked through the channels. He was going through them at such a rapid speed that Rose began to wonder how he could even tell what was on each channel.

It wasn't long before they both fell asleep, Rose having shifted to lie in front of him on the small sofa. It was long after midnight when Pete and Jackie came home and found them conked out, TV still on. Jackie stood over them, looking over their sleeping forms lovingly. The Doctor was pressed against the back of the sofa, Rose in front of him, an arm wrapped protectively around her waist.

"Should we wake them?" Pete whispered, coming up behind her. She didn't respond right away, having gotten lost in her thoughts.

"I am so glad she has him back," she admitted quietly after a long moment. "I don't know what I would have done if she had gone on like that much longer," She looked over the Doctor's face, so innocent and childlike in sleep, and didn't think she had ever been so grateful that he was there. It was a second more before she broke her gaze and let them enjoy their peaceful moment.


	8. featherstone

**Fret not, lovely followers! We are more than half way done with the next chapter so hopefully you won't have to wait too long for the next installment of our story :)**

* * *

It was the ringing of Rose's mobile pulled her out of a light sleep in the early hours of the morning. Wearily she leaned over the Doctor, who was curled up against her side, and grabbed the phone off the nightstand.

"Hello?" she answered, her voice still sleepy.

"Rose? Hey, its Jake," he began. Rose tried to pay attention, still waking up. After listening to his urgent but brief explanation, she threw herself out of bed just as the Doctor began to stir.

"Where are you going?" he asked groggily, rolling over to face her. "Its five in the morning." he said, glancing at the clock on the nightstand.

"Got a call from Jake. Needs me in for something," she said, grabbing her clothes and pulling them on quickly. He began to get up but Rose stopped him. "Don't worry, I won't be long," He looked like he wanted to protest but she put a finger to his lips. "I'll be back, just sleep. I know you and your lack of cooperation with your body's need for sleep," He grumbled about inferior human needs but laid back down regardless.

* * *

It was several hours before Rose finally was on her way home. Her and Jake had gotten the situation under control, no harm done, but all the sudden she wasn't feeling well. Jake said he could finish the rest of the paperwork and insisted she headed home.

She parked her truck and made her way up to her flat. She felt tired from the early start and her stomach was churning and all she wanted to do was sit in front of the telly with a cup of tea. She turned the key and made her way straight for the kitchen, tossing her bag unceremoniously off to the side as she went. She put the kettle on and grabbed her cup, brow furrowing at the two dirty ones in the sink. She didn't remember leaving those there. She didn't remember having any tea or coffee before she left that morning either. She picked the mug up and observed it, but in realizing what she was doing, put it back. She was finally losing it, she knew it.

"Get everything worked out then?" She spun around, clutching the counter for support. Her eyes grew wide as she took in the figure standing before her. His previously happy grin shifted as he saw the fear in her eyes. "Rose? What's wrong?" he was at her side in an instant, looking her over for any injury.

"I'm dreaming aren't I? This is a dream and I'm going to wake up and you'll be gone," she whispered, tears stinging her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? I live here," he told her, feeling confused.

"Oh gosh, I've lost it. I've finally gone mad. Mum warned me, told me to slow down, but I wouldn't listen." She put a hand to her mouth, stifling a sob.

"Rose, what's wrong?" he asked again, moving closer as she moved away.

"No. You just stay there!" she warned.

"Rose," he pleaded, just wanting to help her. "This isn't a dream, I'm really here. Remember? Jake called you this morning and I was going to go with you but you told me to stay because you're always concerned about how much sleep I get?" That was the exact wrong thing to say. In an instant her worried look turned to anger as she backed up further away from him. He hadn't seen the gun sitting in her holster until she had it pointed at him.

"Rose." He put his hands up and took a hesitant step back.

"Don't. Don't move." She warned him, rage clear in her voice. "Whatever you are, you stay where you are!" Without taking her eyes from him, she grabbed her mobile off the counter where she had left it and dialed the familiar number. Lucky for her, he answered on the third ring.

"Jake? It's Rose. You need to get over here. Now." She listened for a moment before replying. "At my flat." She listened again. "I've either lost it or something is playing a cruel joke." Another moment's silence. "Okay. Bye." She put her phone back on the counter and went back to focusing on the man standing in front of her.

"Please," he whispered desperately. He didn't make a move though. He hoped she wouldn't really shoot him, but something had her scared and her fear seemed to be centered on him. "Just put the gun down," he said as calmly as he could.

"Stay. There." She said through clenched teeth. "If you move I will shoot you, so help me, I will!" To prove her point she cocked the gun.

"Rose, it's really me. It's really me, the Doctor," he said lightly, trying to ignore the weapon she had fixed on him.

"The Doctor doesn't sleep," she spat back at him.

"Well, I used to not have to," he began. "Now I'm stuck in this rubbish human body and it demands sleep. Every night even! How awful is that? How do you humans cope with sleeping away a third of your life?" The tiniest bit of doubt flashed in her eyes as he rambled in a very Doctor manner.

Rose's mind was racing. This intruder was not her Doctor but he was making it very hard to be bitter towards him when he sounded so much like him. It made her heart ache. She couldn't remember the last time she heard his voice, and although he was wearing a t-shirt and sweats, this intruder still looked remarkably like him.

"Don't you remember? 27 planets in the sky, threat to the multi-verse, the daleks?" he asked in his chipper babbling voice. "Got shot by a dalek, of course, but fortunately I had my lucky right hand to put all that extra regeneration energy into. Then when Donna was locked in the TARDIS about to burn, she touched the hand and then I was created, a human/time lord biological metacrisis." He was talking a mile a minute and Rose had to concentrate to get everything he was saying.

"So you admit it then. That you're a copy or an impersonator or a space…thing?" she snapped, straightening her form.

"No, Rose, it's me. I'm a bit more human now, but still me," His heart was aching having recently just gotten over the doubt she had had at first. It felt like the time after his first regeneration in front of her except more hostility.

"Stop talking." She demanded. Lucky for him, there was a quick knock on the door before someone, who he presumed to be Jake, entered. "In here!" she called. Jake came rushing into the kitchen but stopped quickly as he took in the scene.

"Rose, what are you doing?" he said cautiously, taking careful steps towards her. He glanced over at the Doctor, who looked desperate for someone to take the gun away from her before she used it.

"You can see him too," she stated, not looking away from her target. "I haven't gone crazy then. That eliminates one option."

"Rose, just put the gun down," he said soothingly, inching closer.

"No, he's an imposter!" she yelled.

"It's the Doctor. Just hand the gun to me," he tried.

"No, he's not! He can't be here, he told me himself. Either we're both crazy and he isn't really there or he's an intruder."

"No, it's really him, I promise. He came back," Jake began, standing right beside her now. He reached his hands out cautiously and pried the gun from her hand. He quickly unloaded it and tossed it aside. "Alright then, let's just calm down." Jake said as the Doctor sighed a breath of relief and put his arms down. "Now, tell me what happened."

"I was just making tea and there he was! I don't even know how he got in," Rose said, clinging to Jake's side.

"I told you, I live here!" the Doctor countered, feeling ready to defend himself now that he wasn't at gunpoint.

"How did you get here then? Where's the TARDIS?" she asked quickly. She saw a twinge of sadness cross his face and for some reason that she didn't know, she regretted asking.

"That is a long story," He sounded like he had the fight taken right out of him.

"Well, I have time." she said coldly.


	9. here is goes again

They all sat around the kitchen table and calmly began to discuss the situation. The Doctor was filled with concern and he wanted nothing more than to go and comfort her, but refrained. She was afraid and it seemed that her memories of everything after nearly finishing up the dimension cannon was gone and no one knew why.

"So, wait," she said, a hand to her head as she tried to sooth the oncoming headache. "Explain it again."

"So you appeared on this deserted road and in the process of trying to get to you I got shot by a dalek," she nodded, letting him know she was following. "I started to regenerate, but remember how I got my hand cut off fighting the Sycorax? Well, instead of regenerating I put all the extra energy into the hand after I healed myself.

"Right, okay, I get that part," she said, trying to ease her headache. "What I don't get is how you became human but still are the same."

"Right, so we ended up on the dalek crucible and they tried to destroy my ship. Donna was still inside and she touched the jar with the hand in it. Her touch and all that extra regenerative energy caused a metacrisis."

"Okay, so how did we end up back in this universe?" he dropped her gaze, uncertain of how exactly to answer it without causing a mess of pain.

"We were left here by the other Doctor," he replied. "I have a human life span now. I was left here because we could grow old together if you wanted." he said sadly. She was feeling more conflicted with each thing he said. She felt angry and hurt that the other Doctor had apparently dumped them, but she also felt happy he was really there and that he would age at the same rate as her. She sighed and put her head down on the table with a light thud.

"Rose," he began, sympathizing with her. If it had been reversed, he would have been just as confused, if not more by his biological changes.

"No, just stop," she said, cutting him off before he could get any further. "My head hurts, just stop."

"I know that this is rough on you," Jake began. "But clearly something has affected your memory and we need to figure out what." Rose looked so distressed and worn out and Jake wanted nothing more than to just let her rest, but they both knew better. "I'm going to call Pete and let him know we're on our way. We can let your mum know if you want. You know Pete will tell her anyways and she probably won't be as frantic if she talks directly to you." Head still resting on the table, Rose nodded.

The Doctor sat quietly, not talking anymore just as Rose had asked. He didn't want to cause her any more discomfort than she was in already. He was eager to get her to Torchwood. His new sonic screwdriver wasn't quite done yet and right about then he wished it were. He wanted to run his own scans and tests without having Torchwood looking over his shoulder.

* * *

They quickly made their way to Torchwood and to the med bay where Rose sat on the bed, legs dangling over the edge. The Doctor hovered close by but kept his distance, desperately not wanting to make things worse than when they had first gotten back. They had one of the doctors looking her over.

"First things first," the medical doctor began. "What is the last thing you remember? It's best to see exactly how much memory you're missing," Rose thought for a minute, trying to recall exactly what she thought she had done last.

"I remember finishing up the cannon. The stars were just starting to go out and we were trying to get the thing to work," she said weakly.

"Do you remember driving home from here earlier today?" he asked.

"Yes," she relied after a moment. "I wasn't feeling well so Jake told me to go home,"

"And before that?" he pressed.

"Working on the cannon," she replied hesitantly, now knowing that it wasn't true.

"So it would seem that you are missing about a month or so worth of memories," the medical doctor concluded, whose name she thought was Cooper.

"All of the memories of this Doctor then," she sighed, giving him a sad glance.

"It could just be a coincidence," Cooper offered half-heartedly. "Or it could be that whatever is causing the memory lapse is slow working, something we haven't come across before."

"So more of my memories could just disappear?" she asked him worriedly. The Doctor reached his hand out to her hesitantly, but she ignored him. He attempted to hide his frown, trying not to let her know how much her rejection hurt.

Hours of scans had resulted in nothing out of the ordinary and the Doctor was starting to get frustrated. With every clean scan he felt his heart sink. They had just gotten over the awkwardness, the doubt they both had had, and now it felt like they were back at square one, but worse; they had no idea what was wrong with her.

Rose had gotten tired of being poked and prodded like a lab rat and asked if they could call it a day. Sympathetically, Cooper agreed and said they could do more tests tomorrow if she was ready. When they got to their truck, Rose asked to go to the Tyler mansion and not their flat. With a quick nod the Doctor obliged.

* * *

Rose and Jackie were sitting at the kitchen table both nursing a cup of tea, the Doctor having gone off to play with Tony.

"How are you doing, sweetheart, really?" Jackie asked quietly.

"I'm fine, mum. It's just a lot to take in. It feels like just a second ago I was working on the cannon and now I'm being told it worked, we saved the multi-verse, and got dumped back here," she sighed heavily, resting her head on her arm. "Its just so confusing,"

"I know, but it'll be alright," Jackie said reassuringly. "You've got himself and you know that he'll figure it out,"

"I know. I just need to sit and think a while, let it all sink in," she said quietly, finishing the last of her tea.

"Why don't you stay here a few days, stick close to home while they try to figure it out. You don't want to stress yourself, sweetheart," Jackie suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds good actually," Rose agreed wearily, feeling completely physically and emotionally drained. A few minutes later she got up from the table and made her way to her old bedroom. She passed by Tony and the Doctor who were playing with toys in the middle of the sitting room. She saw him look up at her out of the corner of her eye but she was too tired to deal with it now. He looked away as she made her way up the stairs without another word.


	10. not a second time

The Doctor slouched as Rose walked by without a second glance. All he wanted to do was go and comfort her but it was clear she needed space to think it all through. He went back to playing with Tony's toy cars but it did little to deter his thoughts. Worse off, a few minutes later Jackie came in to take his only distraction off to bed. He watched them go upstairs, Tony protesting, as he plopped down on the couch in frustration. He slung an arm over his eyes and sighed dramatically, already getting lost in thought.

All he wanted to do was go to her and help her through it and do scans and find out what was wrong and he couldn't. If he'd had the TARDIS he would have already figured out what was wrong and started to fix it. He had never been more frustrated with his new life until this point when he realised he no longer had access to all that technology he had stored in the med bay on the TARDIS. A light touch on his arm pulled him out of his stupor.

"Come on, sweetheart. Won't do any good to be moping about," Jackie said gingerly as he sat up to make room for her to sit.

"I'm not moping," he argued weakly. "Time Lords don't mope."

"She just needs to take a breath to figure it out is all," Jackie said, getting right to the point. He looked at her, eyes telling her that he didn't believe her. In a rare moment, he let his guard down.

"We just got over all this awkward uncertainty," he began quietly, looking away from her gaze. "And now it feels like we're back where we began," There was a long pause before he felt a sharp smack to the back of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?" he exclaimed, rubbing his head and giving her a confused look.

"You plum," Jackie said, shaking her head. "She's back in the mindset where you told her it was impossible for you two to see each other again. Then there you are standing in front of her," Jackie said as if it were obvious. "She's lost her memories, not her feelings, Doctor." The Doctor looked at her in disbelief. "Go on," Jackie urged, shoving him off the couch and towards the stairs. "She needs you right now,"

* * *

He stood hesitantly in front of her door for a few minutes before knocking lightly. He heard a quiet 'come in' from the other side of the door before he walked in. She was lying on her side in bed facing the door looking up at him.

"Hello," he offered weakly.

"Hello," she said back with a smirk. He moved across the room and sat down on the edge of the bed as she rolled to her back. She looked up at him as if trying to memorise every feature of his face afraid he might disappear. They sat in silence for a few minutes before she finally said something.

"You're really here," she said quietly

"Yes," he replied just as softly.

"The cannon worked,"

"Yes,"

"We saved the multi-verse, and now we're here living the everyday life like you never thought you could." she stated.

"Yes, we did," he said with a smile. She couldn't resists; she smiled back at him. She reached for his hand and entwined their fingers together.

"I've missed you," she admitted similarly to how she did when they had been dumped in Norway.

"I'm right here," he whispered. "We will find out what took your memories and we will fix it." he stated confidently.

"I know," she sighed, pulling him down onto the bed with her. He laid down willingly, glad to see she seemed to have moved out of the confusion phase, and snuggled into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she hugged him back completely content.

"We'll go back to Torchwood tomorrow and try to fix this,"

"Mmm," she mumbled, already half asleep.

"If I had my sonic we would probably know faster," he said longingly. "If I had my TARDIS you would probably already be better." Rose gave him a sympathetic look as she realised he was probably left without any belongings.

"I'm sorry," she muttered sincerely.

"It's not your fault, Rose," he told her honestly. "And we've been just fine."

"Okay," she agreed and rolled over so her back was to his front. Taking the opportunity, he draped his arm over her waist, hoping she wouldn't protest. She didn't.

"I'll figure this out before you lose anymore of your memories."

"I know you will," she sighed, snuggling back into him. "Because you're you." Her exhaustion finally got the better of her and she quickly drifted off.

* * *

Luckily Rose had gone to bed earlier than usual because the Doctor was gently shaking her awake before the sun was up the next morning.

"Rose," he whispered to her half asleep form. "Rose, come on, wake up,"

"Doctor?" she grumbled, looking up at him with heavy eyes.

"Yeah, come one, get up. We're going to Torchwood."

"What?" she asked, starting to wake up and realise what was happening. "Why?" she asked more alarmed, moving away from him.

"To do some of my own tests so we can see what's wrong," he explained quickly. "Come on, get dressed." She just stared at him wide eyed.

"How are you here?" His heart plummeted in his chest.

"Oh, Rose," he mumbled. He ran his hands over his face and into his hair, trying to think quickly. She just watched him in disbelieve. "Alright, listen." He began hastily. "This is going to sound insane, but you have to listen to me." He stared intently at her to make sure she was focusing on him completely. "The cannon worked. You found me again and we saved the multi-verse from the daleks. There was a metacrisis—that's me—and you and I were left here in this universe. Something has taken your memories, that's why you don't remember any of this, and we have to go to Torchwood so we can do some tests." She stared at him for a long minute before she blinked out of her gaze.

"Okay," she said and threw back the covers. The Doctor looked at her, completely stunned. He had expected there to be doubts and a struggle.

"Okay?" he asked in disbelief.

"That all sounded very Doctor-ish," she explained calmly. "And if what you just said is true and you're really here, then we have to find out why I don't remember any of that, yeah?"

"Uh, yeah," he began slowly. "Alright, brilliant!"

"Plus, there's no way you'd risk breaking into the house and taking the chance to face the wrath of my mother, so she must know about this already."

"A very true observation," he said impressed. He wished it had been easier to convince her the first time. This was much more pleasant than having a gun pointed at his head.

She dressed quickly and then they made their way through the house as quietly as they could. When they got to the truck, the Doctor went for the driver's side, gaining himself a questioning glance from Rose.

"You drive now?" she whispered.

"I am perfectly capable of operating a simple 21st century vehicle," he defended, feigning being insulted.

"Alright, just don't kill us," she said as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"I'll have you know that I am a great driver, Rose Tyler," he claimed.

"Well, all I have to go off is your TARDIS driving skills and we rarely ended up where you originally intended, so…" she trailed off, smiling at him.

"Oi!" he exclaimed, pulled away from the mansion and heading towards Torchwood. In the early hours of the morning it was easy for them to get in without notice, and so they quickly made their way back up to the med bay.

"Yesterday we did a load of tests and scans, but we learnt nothing from them," he began to explain as she hopped up on the bed. He gave her a sad look. "Unfortunately, since then it seems to have only gotten worse." She didn't think twice when he pulled his sonic from his coat pocket and began scanning her.

"We really needed to be here for you to scan me with the sonic?" she asked with a smirk.

"This is only plan A," he explained.

"What's plan B?" she asked as he finished his scan.

"I have no idea."


	11. closer to the edge

The Doctor angrily slammed the sonic into his left hand, trying to force it to work. He grumbled to himself in frustration as Rose sat quietly on the bed, waiting for him to get it out of his system.

"Doctor," she said gently, instantly melting away his aggression.

"The sonic isn't finished enough to get a proper reading," he said in aggravation.

"What do you mean it isn't finished? Did it break or something?" she asked.

"No," he began as he tossed the sonic onto the counter. "I didn't have a sonic when we were left here so I had to build a new one. I tried to finish it up last night but it isn't quite at 100% right now so I can't get any readings."

"I'm sorry," she said sympathetically.

"It's not your fault," he said reassuringly, walking over to the bed and taking her hand, not caring if she shoved him off. "We'll just have to try something different. Instead of scans that don't seem to work, lets try questions." She nodded in agreement. "Since none of this technology we have can pick up a problem, it leads me to believe that whatever is doing this is something Torchwood hasn't come across before. Or hasn't taken note of.

"Okay, this is your second memory lapse." He went on. "What is the last thing you can remember? Yesterday you said you remembered working on the dimension cannon. Do you still remember that?" She shook her head, trying to get everything straight in her head.

"I remember having this idea for something to throw me across the void. Would that be this cannon you're talking about?" He gave her a sad smile.

"Probably, yes." he said. "Alright, think, think, think," he said, releasing her hand and running his hands through his hair.

"Have we been happy?" her question caught him off guard and pulled him away from trying to figure out what was happening.

"Yes." he said quickly. "It was a bit rough at first, trying to get used to this me, but we're always alright," he smiled.

"This you? What do you mean?" she inquired.

"This me is the metacrisis," he explained calmly. "This me is part human." He watched her closely, gauging her reaction. It could go two ways; she'd either fall back into doubts over his newly found human self or trust what he said that they were happy.

"What? You're human?" she blurted out.

"Part human," he corrected.

"Okay. How did that happen exactly?" she pursued.

"Later, okay? Let's focus on you right now," he diverted, not wanting to waste precious time explaining something that she didn't remember she already knew. "It's hard to go about coming up with a conclusion based on your experiences recently, so that's no use.

"Could I have eaten something?" Rose suggested, trying her best to be useful.

"It's possible, but I can't think of anything that takes your memories just for eating it," he said, more to himself than to her.

"I can," she chimed in.

"What?" he asked, bringing his full attention back to her.

"Something you eat that makes you forget after," she elaborated.

"And what would that be?"

"Retcon." she said flatly.

"Retcon?"

"Retcon," she confirmed. "Usually used when someone sees something they're not supposed to."

"Right, yes. Memory erasing drugs," he sighed. "Alright, so we have at least a possibility. That's a good start."

"Hmm, but wouldn't it have showed up on any of the scans?" she questioned, rethinking her suggestion.

"Not necessarily," he admitted. "Is there anyone here who would want to make you forget something?"

"Not that I know of," she began. "Then again, not being able to remember the last few months, that's not saying much."

"Anyone with a grudge? Someone angry over something, hiding something, jealous over something? Anything?" he fired out suggestions, hoping maybe they could at least narrow it down if it was Retcon. There was a long silence between them as they both thought it over.

"What about Cody?" the Doctor asked after a few minutes.

"What about him?" she asked.

"He hates me," he explained. "Sound like something he would do? I mean, I've only met him a few times and all I know is he doesn't care for me very much."

"Okay, but why would hating you make him Retcon me?" she asked.

"Well because from what you've told me, he fancies you," he explained as she looked away. "Fancies you quite a bit from what I understand, and then I walk into the picture…" he trailed off, leaving the rest to her interpretation.

"I don't know if his jealousy would make him go so far to make me forget you completely," she said, not sure if she really thought it.

"Well you know him better than I do so that's for you to decide," he said gently. "But right now its our only idea."

"Do you _really_ think you showing up would make him drug me?"

"Well, I don't know!" he defended. "All you said is that he would flirt with you every chance he got and try asking you out but it never went anywhere. All I have to go off of with Cody is what you've told me and the row I ended up in with him."

"You got in a row with Cody?" she asked, a bit surprised.

"Yeah, over an alien artefact your team brought in. He was insistent that from first glance it was a weapon and I said it definitely wasn't and just wanted to examine it." He explained. "Then he stormed out and that's when you told me he pursue you for a while and why he hates me." She stared at him for a long minute.

"Well," she sighed. "Since Retcon doesn't show up on the scans I guess its all we really have at this point." she looked away a bit defeated.

"Rose, we're going to figure this out," he said softly, moving closer to her. He reached for her hand and she clutched it tightly. She looked up at him hopefully.

* * *

Just as they were making their way out of Torchwood was when everyone was just coming in for the day. They were just making their way towards the door when Rose heard her name called.

"Rose!" Jake called as he ran up to them.

"Jake? What's up?" shed asked him as he caught his breath.

"Nothing, I know you were here early and I was just wondering if you've found anything or have any ideas?" he asked turning to the Doctor.

"We only have one idea thus far," the Doctor replied in a hushed tone as to not be overheard. "A far stretch but its all we have at this point."

"And what would that be?" Jake asked in an equally quiet voice.

"Retcon."

"Retconed? By who?" Jake asked, a little surprised.

"Cody," the Doctor began. "None of the scans are showing anything out of the ordinary and well, Cody has a thing for Rose apparently and an obvious disliking towards me," he said sheepishly.

"And you think Cody would go so far as to Retcon Rose?" Jake asked in disbelief.

"Not really, but Retcon is the only answer we have at this point." he said sadly. "We don't know when or if Rose will lost more memories so we have to work fast before she forgets ever coming to this universe," he explained.

"Alright, so what are you going to do?"

"Finish something that will help determine if there is any Retcon in her system." he said holding up the sonic.

"So let's say that says she has Retcon in her system, then what?" he asked. "You can't exactly go around accusing Cody of Retconing his own team member without any proof."

"Hopefully with the sonic done I'll be able to get a scan on what is wrong if its not Retcon." he said hopefully.

"Doctor," Rose interrupted. He looked over and saw how pale she'd gotten. "Can we go home? I'm not feeling well." Jake looked her over, a realisation popping into his head.

"You said you didn't feel well right before you lost your memories the first time!" he whispered to her hastily.

"I did?" she asked, not having known she had before.

"Yes, so I sent you home and not too long later you called me in distress over the Doctor being in your flat." he explained.

"Why would I do that?" she wondered.

"You were convinced he was impersonating him and not really who he said he was. You had him at gunpoint when I got there," Rose's eyes grew wide at that last piece of information. She had been pointing a gun at the Doctor and she certainly didn't remember or ever think that would be something that would ever happen.

"What?" she shrieked, eyes raking over to the Doctor as if perhaps he had an injury she didn't know about.

"I'm fine, Rose." he said quickly, taking her hand to reassure her.

"I could have shot you!"

"But you didn't. It's okay, I'm fine, no gun shot wound, not even a scratch on me," he said, squeezing her hand.

"More importantly," Jake interrupted after a second. "Is that you said you didn't feel well before. Maybe it's a clue as to what's doing this. After all, I don't think Retcon works this way. It should erase memories once, not continuously erase them."

"Fair point," the Doctor said. "I'll finish the sonic and scan for Retcon anyways." He turned to Rose. "We need to get you home so if you are about to lose your memories you can do it at home and not here."

"Come on, we have to move quickly."


	12. blank white page

Jake had followed them as they rushed to the truck, desperate to get back to the flat before Rose suffered another memory loss. The Doctor pushed the speed limit, Rose sitting worried in the passenger's seat and Jake in the back looking antsy. Rose suddenly pulled the glove compartment open, rifling through the contents.

"What are you looking for?" The Doctor asked quietly, glancing over at her.

"Paper." she said shortly.

"For what?" he pressed lightly.

"To write a note," she said as she finally found a blank sheet of paper and a pencil.

"A note for who?"

"For myself," she explained. "If I've been losing my memories that means that you've had to tell me who you are and what's going on each time. From the sounds of it, it hasn't been graceful each time," she gave him a weary look. "So I'm going to write myself a note telling me who you are and what's happening so you don't have to. That way I'm less likely to try to shoot you or do something equally as awful." she finished quietly before starting to write.

The Doctor just went back to concentrating on driving; worry washing over him as he tried not to show it. Jake sat quietly in the back, running over ideas and theories in his head. After a few minutes Rose looked up from her paper and folded it over, setting it in the Doctor's lap.

"If it happens again, give this to me," she instructed. "It will explain everything quickly and hopefully keep me from hurting anyone." He gave her a curt nod, hoping that there would be no more memory loss for the note to be of use. She clutched her arms around her middle and stared blankly out the window.

"How're you feeling?" Jake asked her, taking note of her discomforted look.

"Everything hurts," she mumbled quietly, turning towards him.

"Well if this is the prequel to memory loss, its happened before," he began. "But I never thought to ask how exactly you were feeling the first time. You just said you didn't feel well so I told you to go home." he sighed.

"So let's assume this is what happens before the loss. Describe everything you are feeling right now," the Doctor said.

"It's just like I have this sudden headache," she began. "It's just pounding." The Doctor glanced over and gave her a sympathetic look, clearly hating that she was in pain.

"Anything else?" he pressed, keeping note of everything.

"My stomach is just churning, like I'm coming down with the flu or something." They were almost to the flat now, the Doctor determined to get her into the comfort of her own home before it happens, which he knows it will.

He parked the truck haphazardly and they all made their way up to the flat with haste, Rose starting to feel worse. He sat her down on the couch and knelt in front of her, taking both her hands in his.

"Rose, tell me what you're feeling," he urged.

"My head is still pounding, but I feel all tingly now," she described, trying to ignore her headache. A chill went up her spine and she flinched involuntarily.

"Tingly? Like how?" Rose just stared at him.

"Doctor?" she whispered uncertainly. The Doctor sighed, looking completely defeated.

"Oh, Rose," he placed a hand on her cheek and looked her over. He reached into his pocket where he had stashed the note she had written to herself and handed it to her. "Just read this, okay?" She looked at him questioningly but took the note.

_Rose,_

_If you're reading this it means that you've lost your memories again. Yes, the Doctor is really here so don't panic. You haven't gone mad. We saved the multi-verse together, and then he came back to this universe with you. He's trying to figure out why we're losing our memories so just go with whatever he says._

She looked up at him, teary-eyed as he looked her over. There had been no physical signs of the memory loss. Just the headache and the tingly she had just been talking about. He figured that had to have been a clue.

"Okay, so what do we do?" she finally asked.

"You believe the note?" he asked almost afraid that she was just faking it and she would lash out at him.

"It's in my handwriting," she said. "Although I have no idea what I'm talking about in it."

"Right, okay." he said, hand still on her cheek. "Right before you lost more memory you said you felt all tingly." he began. "What is the last thing you remember?"

"Well I certainly don't remember saving the multi-verse like I said in my note." she replied.

"I know. You didn't remember that the last two memory lapses either. I had to tell you." he explained.

"What about the cannon?" Jake asked, standing off to the side, observing the scene.

"The what?" Rose asked.

"Guess that's a no then." Jake sighed.

"What's the cannon?"

"You built it to shoot yourself across the void and back to your original universe."

"What would I do that for?" a confused looked crossed her face. "What do you mean original universe? Where are we?" As if she had just noticed, she looked around, the room unfamiliar.

"This is our flat." The Doctor said softly, looking into her eyes.

"What? We have a flat?" she asked, startled.

"Yes, you moved out of the mansion a while ago."

"Um, okay." She said, trying to process it. "And you live here now too?" she asked, trying to get it straight in her head.

"Yes. Living the everyday life with you, Rose Tyler,"

"Since when?" He sighed heavily before going into a quick explanation.

"Well after we got separated, you built a dimension cannon and came back to our original universe and saved the multi-verse from the daleks. Then we got left here." He explained. "But, Rose, that's not important right now. We need to figure out why you can't remember any of this because it's progressing rapidly."

"What is the last thing you remember?" Jake asked. She sat quietly for a long while, looking blankly at the wall.

"Um, a few months after being left here?" she said, not feeling like there was more after that but not being able to recall it.

"Okay," the Doctor said, getting down to business. "Your last memory lapse left you at the point where you were just starting to think up the dimension cannon.

"So the amount of memory taken is increasing?" Jake asked.

"It would seem so unfortunately." The Doctor replied.

"So what do we do then?"

"Well, I'm going to try to finish the sonic quickly as get some answers, that's what." He began. "Rose, you just sit tight okay?" she nodded, looking worried. "Jake, make her some tea, will you?" he said before he disappeared into the spare bedroom.


	13. for the nights i can't remember

**Yes, hello, lovely readers! Sorry it took so long for this to be posted, but hang in there. Exam week is in full effect at the moment so the updates may be further apart that our usual every week, but bear with us, we _will_ update as often as possible. **

* * *

Rose and Jake sat on the couch, sipping their second cups of tea. It had been over an hour since the Doctor had disappeared down the hall, and there was no indication that he was coming out any time soon.

"So how long has this memory loss been going on?" Rose finally asked, putting her mug down on the side table.

"A few days," Jake replied.

"How much memory am I missing then?"

"From the looks of it, a few years.

"A few years," she muttered in disbelief, rubbing a hand across her face.

"Do you know who Tony is?"

"No." she said regretfully.

"Tony is your little brother." he told her.

"Mum had a boy?" she said with a smile.

"Okay, so you remember your mum being pregnant. That's a start," he stated. "Yeah, she had a boy." Rose smiled at that.

"Alright, so why are we here then? In this universe, I mean?"

"It's a long story that he's explained to you multiple times over the last few days." Jake said.

"That must be annoying," Rose said with a smirk.

"He's getting better at it. First time it happened was a bit of a hostile situation. The second wasn't so bad. Then when he told you that he's been explaining every time, you decided to write yourself a note."

"Hostile?" she inquired.

"Yeah," he said nervously. "You sort of had him at gunpoint the first time." Her eyes grew wide in disbelief. "He snuck up on you in your flat and you thought he must be an intruder. It's okay though. I got here and no one got hurt," he finished quickly.

* * *

It was a couple hours later that the Doctor emerged from the room with the finished sonic in hand and a triumphant look on his face. He walked quickly over to her and knelt down.

"Alright, this should tell me exactly what's going on in that head of yours," He said before pointing the sonic at her. The familiar buzzing filled the room and after a minute, he stopped and got his readings. He looked troubled.

"What is it? Just tell me," she told him when he hadn't said anything about what the sonic scans.

"There is something in your head, an alien life-form, if you will," he began slowly. "It's more of an essence, no physical form. Its primary form of sustenance is memory. Humans are a pretty attractive meals with all those emotions."

"Is there a way to fix it?" Jake asked hopefully. The Doctor looked reluctant.

"I have an idea, but I need your consent first, Rose."

"What is it?" she asked uncertainly.

"I have to look in your head, pull memories to the surface and overwhelm it," he explained gingerly, gauging her reaction. She thought it over for a moment.

"And you need my permission?" she confirmed.

"Yes. Going into other people's heads isn't something that I take lightly. It's an invasion of privacy, but seeing as you an I are far beyond strangers, it will be more of an…intimate experience for us both."

"Okay," she agreed slowly. "But what exactly will this do?"

"Well the creature secretes a sort of chemical that helps it to break down and digest your memories. It causes edema in your brain. It's the chemical your immune system is recognizing, not the creature. Anyways think of the chemical as something the creature needs to aid in absorption and digestion. So without it the creature would starve. Think of it as not being able to digest your food or else... cyanide! Common toxin- but it kills you because it inhibits cytochrome C, effectively inhibiting your ability to use the oxygen in you blood." he babbled in his usual chipper voice.

"How does that have anything to do with my memories?"

"Right, so I go in and stir up a bunch of memories and these memories do what? Well, they elicit emotion! Human emotions are run by hormones. We'll flood your brain with all sorts of hormones, like norepinephrine, GABA, oxytocin, acetylcholine, dopamine... and with enough of these they'll bind the foreign chemical and inhibit it so it can't do it's job. The creature leaves and you stop losing your memories!" he finished excitedly.

"Okay, I think I get it," she stated, looking up at him. "So you go in my head and I get my memories back?"

"Basically, that's the plan, yes," he said. "Are you ready for this? It's going to bring a lot of emotions to the surface, and not just good ones." she nodded in consent. He sat down on the coffee table, facing her where she sat on the couch and placed his hands on her temples. "Just relax, take deep breaths, okay?"

"Okay," she said, taking a breath and letting it out slowly. She closed her eyes and the Doctor started.

"Is that you?" she gasped as she felt something nudging at the back of her mind. It felt weird but comforting.

"Yes, that's me," he said gently. "I'm going to look around a bit, alright?"

"Yeah,"

"I need to be able to venture freely so I can pick memories with the most emotions," he explained. "It may get a bit overwhelming."

"I trust you," she whispered. She felt him enter her mind further and picking around, the memories shifting; things that had apparently happened but she couldn't quite place.

Everything resurfacing, although slowly at first, was still overwhelming. Emotions towards things she hadn't remembered until just then were becoming prominent. Some memories from her first Doctor were brought up and she could help but smile at the face she had first fallen in love with.

Charles Dickens in Cardiff and the Gelth, her thinking she was going to die in that basement, her telling him she was glad to have met him, and the electricity that seemed to spark between them every time she took his hand, flashed in front of her. Meeting the Dalek in America, meeting Jack during the London Blitz, the Jagrafess, the Game Station and the goddess of time; Bad Wolf. She remembered her uncertainty when the Doctor had changed his face, the worry that he wouldn't want her to go with him, the joy when he said he'd love for her to come.

Apple grass, the Face of Boe, and Cassandra using her body to thoroughly snog the Doctor came to mind, and the embarrassment that she wasn't in control of her own body appeared next like a memory replay.

The Doctor could feel the creature start to get startled at the sudden surge of emotion and panic a little. He plunged deeper into her memories, trying to get rid of it before it tried to figure out how to stop him.

She remembered running from a werewolf in Scotland and trying to win a bet at the same time, the thrill of it all, meeting Sarah Jane, the Queen's coronation, and the utterly impossible planet where they thought they had lost it all.

The 2012 London Olympics and helping Chloe Webber and the Isolus came forth in he mind. She was so glad to have helped them without any major incidents. She remembers how it felt to hug the Doctor when he had come back from being trapped in the drawing.

She smiled at the memories like they were new. In a way they were to her. Eyes closed, they smiled at each other as he unlocked more of her forgotten memories. They had had such great memories and she was so glad she was getting them back.

"Brace yourself, Rose," he whispered to her, feeling the creature's disorientation get worse. "This last bit will get rid of the creature, but its not going to be pleasant." _I'm so sorry_. The words seemed to echo in her head, the remorse as clear as if he had spoken them out loud. She felt the atmosphere of the memory replay shift as he began to prey on her darker memories.


	14. i remember you

**Hello! Well, here we are with another update. We are very sorry it took us so long but the past month and a half or so has been crazy busy for us both so we had no time to get together and write. Luckily things are back to normal and we hope to go back to our usual once a week updates. We thank you so much for being patient and not killing us for the large hiatus we took. So yeah, enjoy the chapter! **

**(btw, the "***" in this chapter represent separation between the story's narration and Rose's memories.)**

* * *

She felt dread wash over her as he dug up more memories, things she now remembered why she had buried them so deep.

The speech she had given to her mother in Torchwood One about why she was going to stay with the Doctor, the Doctor sending her away regardless, being determined to not letting him get off that easy, and then coming back to him. The decision had been easy, she recalled; she was no longer surprised at the strength of her convictions. She knew beyond a doubt that she wanted to spend the rest of her life travelling with him.

"***"

The Doctor knew what he had to do next and hated that the pain he was about to inflict would be his own doing. These memories, although years old, still seemed fresh and he would be pouring salt into an open wound. He took a breath and reluctantly delved into one of their darkest moments, a day he himself considered one of the worst.

"***"

She had felt panic as her fingers slipped from the lever and for a whole horrifying second she thought she was going to end up in the void. She remembered Pete grabbing her at the last second, the parallel Torchwood and the tormenting blank white wall that made it feel like he could be just on the other side.

She remembers feeling the most heartbreak of her life as she screamed to be taken back, the shock that overtook her when she realised she couldn't, the emptiness of being on an earth that wasn't hers. She remembered being in such shock that she hadn't said a word or showed any emotion for days.

"***"

The tears that had welled up in her eyes spilled over and down her flushed cheeks as her worst memories played over in her head. She felt the Doctor's pain amplified through their mental link, his distress over the memories just as strong as hers.

She was drowning in the memories as they came back in a rush, the anguish of them overwhelming her. She was lost, the room around her fading and the past overwhelming her to her limits. She wanted him to stop, to just let those memories remain lost, but she knew that he couldn't do that. Those events shaped who she had become and if she didn't remember them happening, everything could change.

"***"

Memories of the first week living in the Tyler mansion came next, the emptiness and the lack of motivation to do anything but lie around. The feeling of uselessness washed over and she heard a faint and mangled "oh, Rose" as the Doctor got a good look at how miserable she was in Pete's World at first. Her anguish from the memory surged through their link and he couldn't bear to know that she had been as devastated as he had been. He wanted to comfort her, send her all the love her felt for her, but he knew she needed to feel the full effect of these emotions for it to work. He could feel the tears tracking down her face as he went on.

"***"

How lost she had felt was overpowering him, the link between them getting stronger. It had been a long time since he had had someone in his head, let alone anyone he had felt so much for. Especially now that the TARDIS, his longest companion, was no longer there in the back of his mind, he had felt even more lonely up there than before. Even though she didn't know it, Rose was filling that hole, making him feel less lonely in his head.

"***"

The next memory that surfaced was less agonizing and he was thankful for that. He didn't know how much more of Rose's distressing memories he could handle before he broke down himself. It was the day she had told him about, the one where she had decided to pick herself up and have a fantastic life just like he told her. He was stunned by her determination to put her life back together and do something useful with it.

The most recent memories came next, her finding him, the Dalek crucible, the metacrisis and the second time at Bad Wolf Bay, living in Pete's World together and them taking the next steps in their relationship, the one adventure he never thought he could have.

They both felt when the creature started to pull away from her mind, and the Doctor sent her all the reassurance he could to keep her calm as it happened. He knew it was going to feel like a huge weight lifted out of her mind and he wanted to make sure there was something new to fill it with so she didn't panic.

He pulled a slim silver pod from his left pocket as the creature extracted itself from Rose's mind. It left her mind completely and once it was fully into the pod, it closed, trapping the creature inside. Rose sat with her eyes still closed for a moment before she collapsed, the energy of it all taking a toll on her. The Doctor caught her before she fell and laid her down on the couch. It was only a moment later her eyes fluttered open wearily. She looked up at him and gave him a small smile and relief washed over him.

"Hello," he said softly, a wide smile on his face.

"Hello," she muttered in reply.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, grabbing her hand.

"Tired," she sighed.

"You'll feel better after some sleep," he told her. She nodded in agreement. He turned to Jake then, who had been sitting off watching the whole thing in amazement. "Take the pod," The Doctor told him. "Lock it away in Torchwood and don't let anyone touch it. No decision is made until I thoroughly look at the creature, understand?"

"You got it, boss," Jake said, taking the pod and slipping it into his pocket before leaving without saying another word.

"Come on, off to bed," he said, picking her up off the couch and carrying her into their room. He set her down gently and looked her over. She was still half asleep. He'd never admit it, but he was just as exhausted from the experience as she was. He made quick work of his trainers and shirt and crawled into bed next to her. She instinctually rolled over towards him and he pulled her closer, having been lost without her comfort for the last few days.

"I missed you so much," he whispered to her, certain she was already asleep.

"Love you," she mumbled sleepily.

He smiled and pulled her closer.


	15. fixing a hole

**Hello! Sorry for the gap between updates again, we're still trying to get back on schedule. The good news is that we have the next chapter almost finished AND it's the chapter you've all been waiting for so we promise not to make you wait too long. Anyways, here's the chapter and please review**.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" the Doctor asked as he walked into the kitchen. She was sitting at the table nursing a mug of tea. She looked up at him and gave him a smile.

"Better than yesterday," she said. "Tired still and I have a bit of a headache,"

"It's a symptom of the telepathic bond and the stress from it," he explained. "It'll go away soon enough."

"Yeah, well, soon enough isn't soon enough," she snapped, resting her forehead in her hand. "Sorry," she said after a moment, realizing she was being angry with him for no reason.

"It's alright," he said quietly, joining her at the table and looking her over apprehensively. She caught him staring at her.

"What?" she asked, sounding snippier than she intended.

"Nothing," he said, getting up to make himself a cup of tea. Rose knew him better than to know it was nothing.

"Doctor," she said in a tone she reserved for when she knew the Doctor was lying. "I know you want to say something so go ahead and say it, whatever it is," He sighed and sat back down at the table, clutching his mug of tea. He was quiet for a long moment, but Rose knew it was one of those times to urge him on, not let it go.

"Whatever it is, Doctor, just spit it out,"

"Its just," he began, trying to get a grip on what he was trying to tell her. "Its just the TARDIS, I miss her,"

"Well she was your oldest companion," Rose replied sympathetically. "Its okay to miss her, Doctor." He looked down at the table, uncertain of how to go on. "Running about time and space for the better part of seven hundred years."

"Its not just that," he mumbled. "Of course, I do miss that, but that's not it."

"Then what is it?" she pressed.

"Its just that," he stopped for a moment, trying to think of a way to explain it. "Remember that first night here?" She nodded. "I couldn't sleep because it was too quiet, because I was used to the TARDIS being there and she suddenly wasn't. She was always there, always knew what I needed, how I felt, where to take me." he said all in one breath. "And now she's not. She's not there." Suddenly what he was trying to tell her clicked. He was telepathic. His ship was telepathic. More than likely, the TARDIS was always there in his head and now she wasn't.

"Your head feels empty," she realized. He gave a curt nod. He may have her now but she couldn't replace the bond between him and his ship. He was lonely in his head and she didn't know what to do.

"Yesterday when I went into your head to get back your memories—" he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Being in your head, having your presence in mine, it helped. It helped make it not so bad." He explained quietly. He didn't know how she was going to react to what he was suggesting and so he went on staring at his tea. "I was just wondering…" he began.

"Wondering what?" she urged.

"You can say no," he began hastily. "I would never make you do something you didn't want to do,"

"What is it, Doctor?" his quickened and nervous tone was making her anxious.

"Its…well…I was wondering if we could maybe make that bond permanent in the future," he mumbled so low that she almost didn't hear it. She stared at him, heart aching for him, but he wouldn't meet her eye. She knew it was difficult for him to talk about what he was feeling or what he needed so she knew how big a deal it was. His lack of a presence in his head but have been bothering him so much. She hadn't even thought of it.

"I mean if you don't want to, it's okay. I don't want to force you and if you don't feel comfortable with it, I'll be fine, so don't worry about that," he took her hesitation as a no and began to ramble.

"Doctor," she said, trying to stop him.

"It was just a thought and having you in my head yesterday made my head feel no so lonely since I lost the TARDIS and I don't know if you felt it but—"

"Doctor!" she cut him off. He looked up at her, worry clearly written across his face at what she was going to say. "Tell me about it,"

"Tell you about what?" he asked obliviously.

"This mental link," she clarified. "Tell me about it. How does it work?" He gave her a genuine smile.

"Well, its sort of like a comfort, really," he began. "Like you'd know I was there and I'd know you were there,"

"Like mind reading?" she asked uncertainly.

"No, no, nothing like that. More like a warm presence, being in tune with each other's emotions, knowing the other is there." She thought it over. The last thing she wanted was for him to have to suffer through that empty feeling for the rest of his life. She was quiet for a long time and the Doctor started to get antsy and started stressing over if she said no. He'd have to find a way to deal with it on his own then and he didn't know if he'd be able to cope with it. Not after having a sample of what it would be like to have her in his head. She looked up at him, warmth in her eyes and a tongue between her teeth smile on her face. He loved that smile.

"I think that's something we can try," He let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yes," she reassured him. "I know I can't replace your ship but I can try my best to keep you from feeling this way."

"Thank you," he manages to choke out. Rose would never fail to amaze him. They sat in silence for a couple minutes, thinking over the conversation and sipping their tea.

"Come on," Rose said, breaking the silence. "Let's go,"

"Where are we going?" he asked as she grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the table before he had a chance to finish his tea.

"I dunno," she said with a smile. "Let's just go somewhere."


	16. soul meets body

**And now what you've all been waiting for.**

* * *

"Today was amazing," Rose said with a laugh, tossing her jacket off to the side and throwing herself down onto their bed.

"Yeah, it was," he said with a distant but bright smile. To him she looked like she had after they had narrowly escaped from an adventure, glowing, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. He walked over towards the bed and she grabs his hand, pulling him down next to her, lips meeting. The kiss was imbued with all the love he had for her and after a long moment he broke away first.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips, eyes still closed.

"I love you, too," she whispered back, breathing heavily. He captured her lips again and the kiss quickly grew more fervent and demanding. In that moment, there was no doubt in either of their minds. The Doctor rolled so he was on top of her, not even breaking the kiss, and Rose began to loosen his tie.

"Rose?" he whispered questioningly, breaking the kiss.

"Doctor?" she said, mimicking his tone, giving him a suggestive smile. His eyes darkened and he brought his mouth to hers, desire overtaking them both. He felt the hormones he had been trying so hard to suppress burst through the barriers and flood him. She could already feel hot desire pooling at her center as she flung his tie off to the side and quickly started at the buttons on his shirt.

His shirt got thrown off to the side with his tie as he made quick work of getting her shirt off her to be discarded unceremoniously. He felt his heart speed up, the unfamiliar hormones overtaking him quickly. He watched the rise and fall of her chest, the skin pulling taught over her ribs as she breathed. He felt himself become warm and ravenous with desire, not sure if he could hold back much longer.

He rolled on top of her, hands roaming softly over her back and unlatched her bra as she arched towards him. His eagerness consumed him as he roamed down her back. Rose groaned and felt herself grow wet for him, her toes curling as she felt him harden against her. Their lips met again as she struggled to get his trousers off and free him. He broke away for air, his breathing heavy, everything now beyond his control.

He looked down at her, his eyes dark with desire, hers just as lustful. She cradled him between her legs and in one smooth motion he slid in. They both let out mangled moans of pleasure at their first joining since they'd been separated. He felt a spasm of pleasure run through her and she tightened around him as he stifled a shudder of his own. She arched up to meet him and after getting their bearings, they met each other perfectly thrust for thrust. Both reacted and anticipated the needs of the other, hands roaming and exploring as they moved together. She felt him all around him, felt his pleasure as well as her own and she could hardly bear it.

Their rhythm quickened as he already felt himself nearing the edge. The language of their bodies writhing together is articulated by urgent moans and soft grunts and punctuated by the mangled whispers of each other's names. Her fingers dug into the flesh of his shoulders then grasped at his hips as she wrapped her legs around him, trying to pull him as close as possible. Their heads were buzzing and the rush overtook them as things grew blindingly frantic until one coordinated movement had her rising up to meet him and shouting her release into the silence of the flat. She collapsed with a soft and satisfied sigh onto the sheets.

Riding the wave of climax, Rose placed her hands around the Doctor's neck, her fingers becoming lost in his damp hair as he rushed mindlessly to follow her. The friction between them continues and in a few more steady undulations. It only took a moment for him to surrender to the vertigo and fall over the edge after her.

A loud moan escaped as he made a final thrust before going ridged above her. Overtaken by the rush and pure unparalleled bliss, he collapsed on her. She bore his weight contentedly for a few moments before she nudged him and he rolled to lie next to her.

"Well," she said breathily after a moment, but it was as far as she got.

"Yeah," he agreed, trying to catch his breath. "You are..." he trailed off, words escaping him.

"Oh, you too,"

"I've missed this," he muttered. "I've missed you."

"Yeah?"

"Is it always like that for humans?"

"How do you mean?" she asked curiously, still trying to control her breathing.

"All rushing hormones and no control?"

"Was it not like that before?" He frowned. That wasn't what he meant at all. He certainly didn't mean to have her questioning him again.

"It was just as brilliant as I remember, but before I had all this control over my body. In this one I just can't control myself. These urges, they're going to kill me," he admitted softly. She turned towards him and rested her head on his chest, arm going around his middle.

"It'll just take some getting used to, I suppose," she encouraged. "And besides," she said looking up at him and giving him a mischievous smirk. "I really don't mind if you lose control. In fact, I encourage it," She gave him a tongue between her teeth smile. She rolled over, enjoying the look on his face at her comment. He laid behind her and pulled her against him, completely content and a bit tired, though he'd never admit it.

She snuggled back into him and he threw an arm over her waist. They laid there for a few minutes before she suddenly felt something distinctly male against her bum.

"Already?" she asked in surprise, turning her head to try and look at him.

He gave her a wicked grin, rolling onto her. "Superior biology."


End file.
